We are all animals. We will always evaluate the situations/people around us using our million year old brain that uses all of it’s senses to determine if we are safe. If your brain determines you are not safe, you will use the fight or flight response to avoid the danger. What does that have to do with trust?
When we trust someone, it means that we feel safe with our emotions, our money, our time, our needs when we are in their presence or allowing them into our lives. So, how do I know if I should trust someone.
We evaluate a lot of things when interacting with others. Body language and facial expressions are the ones that we use most, followed by current or previous behavior.
What if you want to be in relationship with someone and you want them to know that you can be trusted. The simplest answer is to choose to be “present”. When you are fully present, I know that you are using all of your senses to understand my communication as I am using all of mine to evaluate my safety and security. If you fully understand my communication and share agreement, ask questions or are otherwise “engaged”, I feel connection. When I am connected to you…I feel safe and I trust you.
What gifts of “presence” could be improved?______
Eye contact?_____
True listening?_________
Touch?_______
Agreement or thoughtful questions?__________
Time?_____________
You may find that giving this gift to others will ultimately be a gift to you by creating better relationships, deeper friendships and more valued employees.