This is one of my favorite quotes that helps life make sense.  When you first read this you might say to yourself, why would I want to be involved in a conflict situation in the first place? Of course I want to avoid it! I am not referring to a fist fight or an argument about which politician that you support. I am speaking of honest communication and what surrounds it.

I have discovered that, in the avoidance of the conflict, conflict often arises. Conversely, engaging with others about positive and negative topics, increases “connection” & trust. Working or living side by side with others in an honest way, builds and deepens relationships. 

Here are some challenges that may arise when avoiding conflict.

-You decide to tell a “white lie” so as not to hurt someone’s feelings—then they find out about it and are angry with you for lying.

-We don’t comment on a situation-a)the other person begins to make up a “story” about why you are not commenting. Often the story in their mind is worse than the original conflict you are attempting to avoid or b) they learn not to trust you because they don’t know what you are thinking.

-We choose to separate from the conflict and hence the person-resulting in a lack of connection and creates a “wall” between 2 people

When you choose to avoid conflict, you are lacking integrity. You are not being honest with yourself or others. You may feel weak or ineffective. Make up stories/excuses about why you didn’t say anything. Suffer.

What conflicts or uncomfortable situations can be found at work?________

 Have you ever been honest even when it is uncomfortable?___________

If so, what was the situation? How did the situation end up_____________

Will you lose more by being honest or by avoidance?___________