We all have disappointments, sadness and change in our lives. You may experience feelings of regret, disappointment over a work project or perhaps a relationship breakup and experience some uncomfortable feelings. Given total freedom, our “mind” will make the event “bigger” than it needs to be and attach many intense emotions to the event as well. It is no wonder that you experience sadness, anger, grief, jealousy and many other emotions that you tend to utilize often.

If this is a constant challenge for you and you spend a lot of time with these negative emotions. It may be time to choose a different type of experience.

Often these negative thoughts are a form of grief…a sense of loss that you are feeling about the event. Grief is a real “thing”. It is most certainly acceptable to acknowledge that you are having these feelings. In there lies the “key”. It is important to recognize the feeling that you are experiencing, name the feeling and describe it to yourself. In so doing, you are taking apart the feeling and distancing yourself from it. We can sometimes notice that we are looking down at ourselves having the feeling instead of actually feeling it. The next step is to ask yourself honestly what is really going on. Is it really about not getting the promotion (even though it was a longshot) or is it about how you want to be appreciated for your hard work? Is it about the losing the relationship (even though you didn’t think it was all that great) or is it wanting to feel loved. Be realistic. The final step is to look at the facts related to the situation and create a new reality that fits in with your life.

Let’s practice.

 What is a situation that you have experienced recently in which you experienced a sense of “loss”?

What feeling/emotions did you attach to that experience? Name it….

What is it REALLY about?

What is the truth about this experience?

What can you appreciate about these emotions and the experience?