Each of us “lives” happily with either male or female energy and we utilize the opposite when stressed. Men can be most comfortable with female energy and women can enjoy the male, and of course we can hang out in the middle as well. So what happens when we are experiencing stress? We utilize the opposite energy of who we are. This can be a major problem in many relationships and can make us feel unfulfilled at work.

Here is what I mean. As a someone who is most comfortable with female energy, the following feelings might be enjoyed, ie playfulness, gentleness, empathy, sensitivity, caring, sweetness, compassion, tolerance, nurturance. When “pushed”, however one may utilize the following male traits of

strength, courage, independence and assertiveness. Although one might be perfectly capable of stepping into these traits, if they are not your core energy, there is an innate discomfort when you spend too much time “living there”. You have essentially taken on a new personality or applied a mask with these new traits. This new energy may be rewarded in the workplace, you may be appreciated by others for your independent qualities for example however it is not the real “you”.

When someone with essential female energy begins to become assertive and demanding, (male energy) toward their historically male energized partner, there is bound to be conflict. Male energy begins to see you as the enemy and fight back or may defer to you by using their feminine energy, get quiet and retreat to keep the “peace”. Either can present a challenge. Ultimately we want to stay in our true energy. If a male goes feminine, we see him as weak, if a female goes male, she becomes less attractive and perhaps even an enemy.

My recommendation to you is to remain in your female or male energy but utilize the better parts of each to support you, your relationships and maintain work life balance.

 In what situations do you use your opposite energy?

 What are your “fall-back” behaviors of choice?

What behaviors could you use that are in alignment with your energy that would serve you better?

 If you find that you often go to your opposite energy in your relationship, Would you be willing to discuss this with your partner and perhaps come up with a safe word to use when you see each other putting on the “mask” of your opposite energy?

 When stressed at work, what behaviors could serve you better when dealing with co-workers? Deadlines? Multiple projects and still remain in your true energy?